Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
