Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
