Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
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