my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
This is classic penis vs brain.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
