She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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