whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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