no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
