she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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