dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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