Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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