I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
