I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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