I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Such a big mess for such a small penis
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
