hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize