I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
