Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
