So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Im part way to drunk.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize