Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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