So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She bit a glass in half.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
