pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
