he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
