My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
