Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Still dying that you shit outside
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Randomize
