bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
