fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
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