I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
