You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
