She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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