it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
