It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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