You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
