1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize