I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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