Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
