Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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