I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
