It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
