her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
