His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
