Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize