does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
