I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
