we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
