It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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