you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just cropdusted the office
We left an ass print on the piano.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
