Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize