I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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