Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
