so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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