Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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