I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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