is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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