we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
