your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
