Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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