She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
