Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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