i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize