I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
