God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
