Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
