Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
