She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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