They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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