This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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