I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
